Science in Favor of the Old School Man

It's natural, it's healthy, and, let's face it, it's one of life's few pleasures that doesn't make you fat or cost a fortune. Let's call it Operation Helping Hand!

 

Okay, Bella Club kids, sit down because this is the real deal. Put down the beer, turn off the football, and let's talk about an ancient art that many grown men practice, but few admit: the famous "preventative maintenance." The good old handjob... oh, hold on. Let's call it Operation Helping Hand!

For years, we heard every scary story. That if you did too much, you'd go blind. That you'd grow hair on your hands (if that were true, I'd already be related to Tony Ramos). There was so much bullshit, so much terrorism from grandma's era, that the guy felt like a criminal for even performing the most basic checks on the equipment.

But you know what? Science has discovered that men who masturbate regularly, according to Harvard, have a lower risk of prostate cancer. And guess what? They discovered what every real man already knew deep down: the helping hand operation is not only harmless, it's a great deal!

The Root Guide to Benefits (nerd-proven!)

1. Prostate Shielding: Do you know the prostate?

That little part that tends to give you a headache after a certain age? Yeah, right. Scientists have discovered that ejaculating frequently (whether one-on-one or with a partner) is like putting rust remover on your machine. A massive study that followed nearly 32,000 men for 18 years showed that guys who "let it out" more than 21 times a month had a much lower risk of prostate cancer. Isn't that the best preventative maintenance you've ever heard of?

2. The cheapest sleeping pill in the world

Tired after a day of work? Your head is racing with bills to pay and your boss is always nagging you? Forget about medication. Science says orgasm releases a ton of feel-good hormones, like endorphins and oxytocin, which relax the body and mind. It's like pressing CTRL+ALT+DEL on your system. You release the pressure and then fall asleep in bed like a rock. And the best part: it's free and has no side effects.

3. Quality Control and Calibration

Let's be honest. How are you going to be a champion on the field if you don't train? Masturbation is your private laboratory. It's where you discover what works and what doesn't, calibrate your aim, and learn to control your own equipment. Knowing your rhythm is the first step to scoring a great goal in a two-on-one game. No woman likes a hasty striker who misses the goal right in front of her. Think about it.

4. Goodbye, stress!

The world is in chaos, traffic is at a standstill, the internet is down. Before you start punching the wall, take a deep breath and... run a system check. That momentary relief isn't just physical. It's your mind emptying the trash, releasing tension, and leaving you calmer to solve real problems.

Moral of the story: masturbating is like changing the oil in your car—you don't have to do it all day, but ignoring it only leads to trouble. So, take care of yourself, because even science tells you to, denying it is stubborn.

So, the next time you think about getting your prostate "maintenance," forget the guilt and urban legends. Remember that you're taking care of your prostate, ensuring a good night's sleep, and performing essential quality control.

It's natural, it's healthy and, let's face it, it's one of the few pleasures in life that doesn't make you fat or cost a lot.