Old-school Man or Toxic Masculinity? In Defense of the Good Old Days

When the thick mustache became a police case

Hello friends! Who has never heard that classic phrase "a man is a man"? Well, lately, it seems that being a true "real macho" has become a crime in some circles. Suddenly, that guy who changes his own tire, who doesn't cry while watching movies and who solves problems without making a fuss has become an endangered species, threatened by the court of social media.

But wait a minute! Does every traditionally masculine behavior deserve to be thrown into the common grave of "toxicity"? Or are we confusing apples with oranges in this whole conversation?

What the hell is it to be an"Old School Man" in Brazil?

Let's agree: the Brazilian  "Old school man"  has his peculiarities. He's the kind of guy who:

He has a barbecue on Sunday and doesn't accept any suggestions about how well the picanha is cooked;

He knows every screw in the car and is proud of it;

Has a toolbox more organized than life itself;

Solves practical problems without making a mountain out of a molehill;

Protects the family like a lion;

He won't lose the Brasileirão even under presidential decree.

This is the guy who, when his wife asks, "Do you think I look fat in this dress?" , responds with a sincere, "You look beautiful, honey," while hoping the conversation doesn't go on for another 40 minutes. This is the guy who, when his son falls off his bike, says, "Get up and keep going, champ," instead of rushing to the emergency room because of a scrape.

Did you know that studies show that men with traditionally masculine characteristics such as determination, protection and resilience tend to be happier and have more stable relationships? The problem was never masculinity itself, but excesses.

It's like beer: one or two cold ones at the end of the day, great. Two cases before Sunday lunch? There you have a problem, friend.

When they confuse firmness with rudeness

The big confusion starts when they mix really problematic behaviors with simple personality traits. Let's face it: there are huge differences between:

Authentic Old School Man:

"I'll fix this leak myself, we'll save the plumber's money."

Really toxic behavior:

"The man who calls a plumber is not a real man!"

See the difference? One is about competence and autonomy, the other is about judging and putting others down. It's like that meme: "expectation vs. reality." The expectation is that every traditional man is an unfeeling tyrant; the reality is that many are just practical guys who like to get their own way.

The Forgotten Benefits of Traditional Masculinity

While some aspects of traditional masculinity deserve to be revisited, others are unfairly demonized. Let's remember some positive points:

Emotional resilience: Knowing how to deal with adversity without falling apart;

Protection: The instinct to care for and defend those you love;

Practicality: Solving problems without complicating what is simple;

Determination: Persist when the going gets tough;

Responsibility: Making commitments and fulfilling them.

Who has never needed that friend who, when things get tough, shows up with a toolbox and solves everything without causing a scene? Or the father who teaches us how to face challenges with courage?

Situations that only a real man understands

That sacred moment when you finally manage to reverse into the tight spot and receive admiring glances;

The feeling of victory when you fix something broken at home and avoid the "technician visit fee";

The dilemma of pretending you're not lost while driving, even though you know the GPS would solve everything in seconds.

Finding balance (without losing the fun)

Ultimately, the question is not whether to choose between being a "real macho" or becoming an "App deconstructionist". The secret is balance: maintaining what is good in masculine traditions (such as strength, determination and protection), but leaving aside what is truly toxic (such as machismo, insensitivity and aggression).

After all, the true "root macho" is not the one who puts others down to feel big, but the one who is strong enough to be kind, firm enough to be flexible and secure enough to respect everyone.

And you, are you more root or nutella in this whole story? Think about that the next time you're changing a tire... or calling a tow truck!

Old-Man School

By Alexandre Peccin