Verbal violence does count!
With this turbulent period that we are experiencing during the Covid-19 pandemic, we have seen in the news and websites that the numbers of violence against women and femicide have increased. The fact that we are more at home, live longer or almost all the time with a person can be a hassle for many couples, who were not used to an intense routine together before. After all, spending more time together does not necessarily mean it is time for kisses, hugs and other "things" more. It is almost always talking about problems, having to work from home, being without work and money, and a list of events that lead to discussions.
And from discussion to aggression is a small step. If you are reading my column and think it is absurd to talk about it here or still think that it happens only in the less favored classes, you are wrong! It happens to everyone, in all social classes and to people of all ages. As we started isolation after Europe, we saw many “memes” of Italian and French couples on the Internet with fights, swearing, arguments on the balconies with the right to throw clothes and objects on their partner. The scene was repeated here in Brazil in viralizations through the network.
Verbal aggression initiates bodily aggression. But verbal aggression hurts in the same way, or even deeper than physical aggression. As well? What properties do I have, that I don't suffer aggression at home to talk about it? Field research, conversations with friends of real cases and separations due to verbal or even physical aggression. People report that being attacked psychologically is a path of no return. For those who offend, it seems trivial, it becomes commonplace, daily, constant. For those who are offended, it is a disorder, a burden, a waiting. An arduous wait, after all any conversation can result in heavy curses, offenses to the family, job, past, housing, children, etc.
Verbal aggression can drag on for years, and a couple takes life and turns it into hell, with heavy arguments, exchanges of offenses, usually start alone, then end up happening in front of friends and family. When it becomes public, the people around it encourage the victim to make a decision, especially when they are offended as well. Over time, verbal aggression creates a huge wound in someone, leaving high esteem below, resulting in someone depressed, without confidence in their qualities and abilities. People attacked by words can suffer very serious damage to their personalities, especially children and adolescents within an emotionally unbalanced family.
Offending someone when we are angry, when we are in trouble is not uncommon. We often regret it later, feel remorse and want to apologize, we are extremely ashamed of our actions. And attitudes that may have been hasty, or ideas coming only from our heads, that didn't even happen. Sick jealousy, persecution mania, envy, greed and many other harmful feelings and attitudes.
Apologizing doesn't always work, because the hurt of the offended person can last forever. Remembering that one thing is to excuse, the other is to forget. Stop and think if someday in your life someone has said something so painful to hear that it never left your memory. In case you remember something, it's good! After all, you will have the notion that they did to you, so you shouldn't do it to someone else. And if you have a toxic relationship, rethink your choices.
And from discussion to aggression is a small step. If you are reading my column and think it is absurd to talk about it here or still think that it happens only in the less favored classes, you are wrong! It happens to everyone, in all social classes and to people of all ages. As we started isolation after Europe, we saw many “memes” of Italian and French couples on the Internet with fights, swearing, arguments on the balconies with the right to throw clothes and objects on their partner. The scene was repeated here in Brazil in viralizations through the network.
Verbal aggression initiates bodily aggression. But verbal aggression hurts in the same way, or even deeper than physical aggression. As well? What properties do I have, that I don't suffer aggression at home to talk about it? Field research, conversations with friends of real cases and separations due to verbal or even physical aggression. People report that being attacked psychologically is a path of no return. For those who offend, it seems trivial, it becomes commonplace, daily, constant. For those who are offended, it is a disorder, a burden, a waiting. An arduous wait, after all any conversation can result in heavy curses, offenses to the family, job, past, housing, children, etc.
Verbal aggression can drag on for years, and a couple takes life and turns it into hell, with heavy arguments, exchanges of offenses, usually start alone, then end up happening in front of friends and family. When it becomes public, the people around it encourage the victim to make a decision, especially when they are offended as well. Over time, verbal aggression creates a huge wound in someone, leaving high esteem below, resulting in someone depressed, without confidence in their qualities and abilities. People attacked by words can suffer very serious damage to their personalities, especially children and adolescents within an emotionally unbalanced family.
Offending someone when we are angry, when we are in trouble is not uncommon. We often regret it later, feel remorse and want to apologize, we are extremely ashamed of our actions. And attitudes that may have been hasty, or ideas coming only from our heads, that didn't even happen. Sick jealousy, persecution mania, envy, greed and many other harmful feelings and attitudes.
Apologizing doesn't always work, because the hurt of the offended person can last forever. Remembering that one thing is to excuse, the other is to forget. Stop and think if someday in your life someone has said something so painful to hear that it never left your memory. In case you remember something, it's good! After all, you will have the notion that they did to you, so you shouldn't do it to someone else. And if you have a toxic relationship, rethink your choices.
Author : Mariana Goulart
Posted in: 08/24/2020
Last modified: 08/23/2020
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