Does single life get tiring?
That's a good question! And it's not just about men, women are also asking about it. Yesterday, in the group of my childhood friends, with an average age of 40, the conversation was about that, and I have to say that I am the only one married (and who likes to be married). But are women's issues the same as men's, why does single life tire?
The question about life as a couple can arise at any age and on both sides, both men and women wonder about the subject. Perhaps the related issues can be very different, but still, at some point, they taper off and end up generating more comprehensive issues for both.
The conversation of my group of friends talked about how good it is to have someone to share the moments at home, watch movies, have dinner, walk together, those things that are much better with company. One of my friends was pointed out as the one who "catches everyone", and exactly she said how much she misses a boyfriend, after some years married and then separated because she discovered her husband's cheating. Another friend, a convinced maiden, who chose to part with her husband at an early age to raise her son with her ideals, reported the same fact, despite admitting that she enjoyed being alone. And so "testimonials" started to appear.
The conversation was long and started to be fun when one of them listed the things that men do at home, claiming why she doesn't miss being married (she was recently widowed and is gradually resuming her normal life). The list included socks thrown on the floor, piles of underwear to wash, eating all the best in the fridge without thinking that there are other people in the house, wanting to watch games on television and war movies, instead of romantic comedy films, getaways around the house (like a bathroom) to read WhatsApp conversations with who knows who, and other 'little things'.
In my head were questions bubbling up like "what should men say that we women do wrong?". After all, if we managed to list several points in the male universe that bother us, what would be ours that bother them? Would they be the answers to our topics? Example: we don't want them to leave their socks lying around, we don't want them to eat everything in the fridge, we want to see silly movies, we are curious about the contents of their cell phones. Is that it?
But then if we were to think about the good side of being with someone, did the issues permeate side by side? Would they be the same? I did not raise any issues in the conversation, because I like being married and, although my husband is not perfect, I love our life and our particularities, I wondered what he would say about me. I have other friends who, like me, like their imperfect relationships and others who split up because they wanted more than one relationship, or rather, were not content with what they did not receive. Is there a pattern?
The truth is that even the most convinced singles get tired one hour. There comes a time in life when everything around you looks different, with more or less value, and that feeling is related to the people we live with. Family, friends, relationships. Life seems “rich” depending on which people we relate to. Or it seems "poor" for the same fact. So there are empty people, married people, and people full of single people. There is no standard, what exists is the need to feel good in the way that each one chooses, without judgments or the imposition of a beautiful life for society. Feeling good will not change with anyone, but with the person who awakens the best things, their best values.
If I could draw a conclusion from this conversation with my friends, it would be the fact that each one must listen and not mirror who we want to appear, but who we really want to be. The values of others are like clothes, they may not fit us!
The question about life as a couple can arise at any age and on both sides, both men and women wonder about the subject. Perhaps the related issues can be very different, but still, at some point, they taper off and end up generating more comprehensive issues for both.
The conversation of my group of friends talked about how good it is to have someone to share the moments at home, watch movies, have dinner, walk together, those things that are much better with company. One of my friends was pointed out as the one who "catches everyone", and exactly she said how much she misses a boyfriend, after some years married and then separated because she discovered her husband's cheating. Another friend, a convinced maiden, who chose to part with her husband at an early age to raise her son with her ideals, reported the same fact, despite admitting that she enjoyed being alone. And so "testimonials" started to appear.
The conversation was long and started to be fun when one of them listed the things that men do at home, claiming why she doesn't miss being married (she was recently widowed and is gradually resuming her normal life). The list included socks thrown on the floor, piles of underwear to wash, eating all the best in the fridge without thinking that there are other people in the house, wanting to watch games on television and war movies, instead of romantic comedy films, getaways around the house (like a bathroom) to read WhatsApp conversations with who knows who, and other 'little things'.
In my head were questions bubbling up like "what should men say that we women do wrong?". After all, if we managed to list several points in the male universe that bother us, what would be ours that bother them? Would they be the answers to our topics? Example: we don't want them to leave their socks lying around, we don't want them to eat everything in the fridge, we want to see silly movies, we are curious about the contents of their cell phones. Is that it?
But then if we were to think about the good side of being with someone, did the issues permeate side by side? Would they be the same? I did not raise any issues in the conversation, because I like being married and, although my husband is not perfect, I love our life and our particularities, I wondered what he would say about me. I have other friends who, like me, like their imperfect relationships and others who split up because they wanted more than one relationship, or rather, were not content with what they did not receive. Is there a pattern?
The truth is that even the most convinced singles get tired one hour. There comes a time in life when everything around you looks different, with more or less value, and that feeling is related to the people we live with. Family, friends, relationships. Life seems “rich” depending on which people we relate to. Or it seems "poor" for the same fact. So there are empty people, married people, and people full of single people. There is no standard, what exists is the need to feel good in the way that each one chooses, without judgments or the imposition of a beautiful life for society. Feeling good will not change with anyone, but with the person who awakens the best things, their best values.
If I could draw a conclusion from this conversation with my friends, it would be the fact that each one must listen and not mirror who we want to appear, but who we really want to be. The values of others are like clothes, they may not fit us!
Author : Mariana Goulart
Posted in: 11/16/2020
Last modified: 11/15/2020
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